What is the Monkey Recruitment Agency?
We recruit special monkeys for individuals and employers. It’s a one of a kind bespoke service….and it’s free!
Who runs the Agency?
All we know is that he’s called “The MD”. Very mysterious.
Will you actually physically send me a monkey?
No. It’s too expensive to send a monkey in the post, and in the past when we’ve given the monkey a bus ticket and a packed lunch they’ve eaten the bus ticket and rubbed the packed lunch all over their bottom. We won’t be trying that again.
So what will you do?
If we can find you a suitable monkey we will publish a picture and profile of the monkey on this site. Look on the bright side, at least you won’t have to pay them or put them up in your spare room.
How long will this take?
In answer to that we say how long is a monkey’s tail? They come in various lengths. It could take days, weeks or even months to find the right monkey for you, but hopefully this free bespoke service is worth the wait.
Is there a waiting list?
Yes and no. Demand comes in peaks and troughs. Monkey recruits appear in peaks and troughs too, and are very unpredictable, so even if you’re 30th in the queue the next monkey to swing through our doors could be the monkey most suited to you. So in other words, don’t worry about the queue.
What do you need my e-mail address for?
Your e-mail address is required to e-mail you the details of the monkey we find for you. It will not be used for any other purpose.
I like this site. How can I keep updated with new monkeys as they’re hired?
That’s easy - become a fan of The Monkey Recruitment Agency on Facebook and you’ll find out when a new monkey is hired!
Is there anything boring but important you’d like to say?
Yes. The Monkey Recruitment Agency retains copyright of any monkey supplied by the service.