April 6th, 2011 The MD

Aruga hovers prior to an ambush...

Aruga hovers prior to an ambush...



Job Title/Description:

Kill anyone with anything, have ninja magic, be a master of disguise, flip out & kill anything, hurl shurikens, hover for like 96 hours, pretty much do anything, hide anywhere, lack personality, be self-sufficent, not make a sound, look good in a ninja uniform & commiting seppukku (suicide) if they they fail..”




Aruga is a typical looking Japanese Macaque born on the Iga planes of Japan.

Although steeped in the ninja-myth during her early years, Aruga’s training commenced when she was already a young adult.  She was adopted by a secretive ninja clan who had a nervous and inaccessible target, the director of TV commercials who was blackmailing the United Nations Secretary General.  Aruga took quickly to her training, becoming proficient in the standard array of ninja weapons and demonstrating excellence in the breadth of ninja skills such as running up walls and walking on water.  Tested as part of the Monkey Recruitment Agency’s rigorous interview process, we can guarantee that she is able to hover for 96.5 hours: however she can only do this in repeated 5 seconds intervals and was quite tired at the end of the 4 days.

She assasinated the blackmailing director during the filming of a chimp’s tea party advertising patio furniture.  Aruga disguised herself as a chimp and infiltrating the party.  Using a tea-saucer as a shuriken, she chose her moment carefully: Decapitating the director in one swift shot before escaping by throwing sugar into the eyes of his body guards and jumping from a 6th story window, landing safely in a birdbath.

Since then Aruga has sucessfully completed many missions, and never failed.  As it has never happened yet,  the Agency cannot guarantee that she would commit seppukku (suicide) if she failed.  Such are her ninja abilities that a popular rumor in down-town Tokyo is that she is really mythical Samuri-Master Ishikawa Goemon in a monkey suit.


During working hours Aruga typically wears samurai armour, especially adapted to also armour her tail.  She has her own small katana, disguised as a piece of banboo, and conceals various grappling hooks, lockpicks, caltraps et cetera in her fur.

Location and Start Date:

Aruga is currently based in Tokyo.  If this is not convenient she is prepared to commute for the right wage, but you should note that a relocation package is unlikely to be sufficient to make her leave Japan.  You can contact her to arrange these details and a mutually agreeable start date by leaving a message with the one eared, one eyed, one armed beggar found daily in Sedagaya park.

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