We’re receiving unconfirmed reports that a chimp has infiltrated Downing Street and sneaked in to the Prime Minister’s personal toilet, carrying a custard pie. The Prime Minister, who was ‘engaged’ on the toilet at the time screamed to alert his security guard whilst the chimp simultaneously slipped on a wet surface and accidentally threw the custard pie in to his own face. Temporarily blinded, the chimp grappled with the Prime Minister in an attempt to maintain balance before falling in to the toilet head first.
The Prime Minister is reported to be unharmed, albeit slightly shocked by the events. The chimp was detained by the Prime Minister’s private security detail and driven away at speed in a van. It’s unclear what the chimp was intending to do with the custard pie, however all visitors to Downing Street are now being searched for custard pies using specially trained sniffer dogs, trained to recognise a wide variety of custard recipes.